In Which I Am Baffled (and Injured) by Office Supplies

Monday, February 4, 2013

I love office supplies.  Seriously.  As a kid, going school supply shopping was one of the best parts of the year, and I often had to be convinced that no, July was not the appropriate time to buy school supplies.   In high school, I fully embraced the joy of a weekly/monthly planner, and by college, everything was color coded.  In grad school, I acquired one of my favorite things: a white board calendar.  Putting up a new month in color coded, dry erase, marker is one of my great joys in life.  Post-its are practically a religion, especially the super sticky ones and the ones with lines! 

Post-its with lines are the best!  They satisfy my need to stick notes on things and ALSO write on lined paper.

Anyway, I realize that I've made myself sound even more boring and nerdy than previously thought, but hey, it's the truth.  Multicolored pens, pretty notebooks, nice stationery, planners, and organizational stuff makes me happy.

I probably need to get out more.

Right.  So, staplers.  They're pretty straight forward.  Not the world's most exciting office supply, but definitely useful and necessary.  Last Friday, I realized that my stapler was out of staples.  This is my stapler:

Hello, stapler!
 I went to the supply room to get some more staples, and then promptly couldn't figure out how to OPEN my stapler.  These are the not-so-helpful instructions on the bottom of my stapler:

Okay.... so.... what?
I eventually figure out how to open the damn thing and attempted to insert the staples.  They didn't fit in the staple-shaped chamber that looked so meant for staples. 

Why do you refuse my staples!?
The secretary attempted to help me, but she was also unable to load the staples.  I figured they must be the wrong size staples, so I ordered the ones that were listed in the office supply catalog with my particular stapler.  This morning, the staples were delivered.

Ooh, premium!
I went to load them.  They STILL didn't fit.  I tried to force them.  Note: NEVER force a stapler to do anything.  It will fight back:

This is where I had 3 staples sticking out of my hand.  'Tis but a flesh wound.
 Then I noticed this:

I had not seen the "DO NOT PUT STAPLES HERE" sign imprinted in my stapler before this morning.  So now I was completely confused because there was simply NO OTHER PLACE that would hold staples.  Or so I thought.

Once again, the not-helpful instructions... that became slightly more helpful after I looked at them more closely.
 APPARENTLY, if you look at the tiny picture on the bottom of the stapler, you would find out that the staples load into the main body of the stapler...


Surprising no one (except for me), the staples totally fit there... as would have any other standard-issue staple.  So, now I have 15,000 staples (no, that is not an exaggeration... I somehow ordered three boxes of 5,000 staples) so if anyone needs some, please let me know.  Also, I am glad that I had a recent tetanus booster, so my stapler injury probably won't kill me.

So that's my very exciting Monday morning post about my stapler.

In other news, my weekend was somehow productive AND relaxing, so I think I win.  Things from my list that I accomplished:

- Gave myself a manicure and a pedicure (they look pretty good!)
- Read more of Far from the Tree (that book is STILL endless)
- Posted (and mailed!) books on Paperback Swap
- Reorganized drawers/closet and got rid of stuff that doesn't fit (I now need to go shopping...)
- Rented a horrible horror movie from Redbox (The Apparition is terrible... don't rent it)
- Baked something (brownies!)
- Slept (this is non-negotiable)
- Watched terrible reality TV (My Big, Fat, American, Gypsy, Wedding never fails to amuse)
- Slept some more

So... success!  I didn't get to knit, but I did find my DPN's, so that was good.  The closet still needs some organizational work, but at least everything in it is now approximately the right size.  I officially need to go shopping because I have 3 pairs of pants that I can wear to work (and one of them has split in the seam by the zipper, so I have to fix that), and two of my sweaters have holes in the armpits that I need to fix... or possibly just get rid of because they're from Old Navy and really, who fixes Old Navy sweaters?  I need to mail three more books for Paperback Swap, 2 of which I can mail on my way home today.  I didn't go to the gym because I am lazy (and also, sleep is awesome) but I am going to try REALLY hard to convince myself to go to the Pilates reformer class tonight... we'll see how that goes.

Last night, I ended up with some pretty terrible joint pain and could NOT get warm for the life of me, and then I woke up at 2:30 am with horrifically bad nausea and spent some time lying on the bathroom floor, so that wasn't really that fun.  I'm still in a decent amount of pain (argh), so we'll see how I feel by 6:00 when I'd have to head to the gym for the class.  I'm hoping that I have some leftover motivation from this weekend.

So it's Monday, and it's cold... not much else is new.  This week has some pretty good stuff coming up, though, including therapy, a coffee/dinner/drinks (not sure yet) date with a friend who I've known since middle school but somehow have not seen since 2008, teaching piano, pay day, and hanging out with my friend Lori (who is marrying Ken's cousin Steve in July!).  And then this weekend, Ken and I are having a game night on Saturday, and on Sunday I'm hanging out with my friend Liz, blogger and artist/designer over at Happy Sighs and Betsy Ann Paper, who also man's Ask Team Practical on A Practical Wedding.  That was a lot of links.  But seriously, check them out, you won't regret it.

But yes, hopefully this week will be good, I will have minimal pain and other disgustingness, and maybe I'll even hear from USP (although I am not holding my breath on that one).  And so my friends, faithful readers (all 5 of you out there), have a good week and be careful with staplers.

- A

1 comment:

  1. I totally share your love of office supplies. I have to remind myself that I don't actually NEED new notebooks pretty much every time I'm in a Staples or Chapters.

    I love you, but your stapler injury is kind of hilarious. I'm glad you finally figured it out, though.

    Woman! When are we having our knitting date? This needs to happen!


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