In Which I Discuss Things That I Do Not Understand

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The things I do not understand are varied and many. For example, some things I do not understand but will not be discussing in this post are:

  • Quantum physics
  • Fly fishing
  • Why the platypus and other monotremes exist
  • Dolman sleeves
  • Gaper delay
  • Golf
  • The luge
That is by no means, an exhaustive list of the things I don't understand that I won't be discussing in this post. Maybe this will become a running feature and someday, I'll get to talk about monotremes. We all have goals.

Anyway, today is one of those days where I can't wrap my brain around the crazy/random things that I encounter in the world. I'm not particularly tolerant of wanton stupidity, illogical behavior, or blatant denial of reality in any form and on any day, but most of the time, I can shrug it off and file it under, "Wow, that's dumb" and move on. I guess my file has gotten too full and now, all of the stupid is spilling over into my life and I can no longer ignore it.

For example, why the hell is faxing still a thing? It is 2013. The first fax was patented in 1843, and the commercial fax was available in 1964. We have email now. We have phones that take video. We can replace someone's heart valve through a catheter in their leg, for pete's sake, and yet we are still using fax machines. A large chunk of my afternoon today has been spent standing in front of the fax machine, walking back and forth to the fax machine to check on it, listening to busy signals, checking numbers, and throwing out "fax failed" forms. Finally, after 5 tries, the damn thing worked, but seriously, I do not understand how we are still faxing things. Scan it, email it. THE END.

I also don't understand how doctor's can book out three months in advance or more. I just realized that I'm seeing the dermatologist next Friday, and I had totally forgotten because holy hell, I made that appointment over three months ago! And that's with the general dermatologist! If I had wanted to see the hair dermatologist (yes, that's a thing), I would have had to wait OVER A YEAR. Dermatologists must work about 23 minutes a day, once a week. Seriously. Thank God there aren't any dermatologic emergencies (aside from, I don't know, all of your skin falling off?) that require immediate assistance, otherwise, we'd all be screwed. I would have liked to get this allergic rash thing taken care of three months ago, though.

I don't understand what the IS department at CHOP actually does. I call them pretty frequently, mainly because things break if you LOOK at them the wrong way here, and every time I call, I get a "work ticket" opened and it's sent to God knows where because IS doesn't handle whatever my issue happens to be. Unless you need a password reset, I'm pretty sure that the IS guy just routes your problem to some other vague department. At least they can reset passwords pretty easily...? (Related note: I think I'd shoot myself if I had to sit at the "Password Reset" station.)

I don't understand people who can't use the "reply all" feature in email. I think you should have to take a little quiz every time you hit the reply all button. "Do you need to send this information to 285 people on this email list?" "Did you mean to click reply all, or do you just want to send your response to one person?" It could be like when Gmail says, "You've written "I've attached. . . " in your email but have not attached any files. Send anyway?" That's always helpful... unless you're trying to explain how attached you are to something, then it's just annoying. I also feel that if you have a college degree, you should probably know how to use reply-all in an appropriate manner. Apparently, this is not the case.

I seriously do not understand why people cannot just be honest with one another. I abhor lying, and not only because I am terrible at it (as I have said before). There are few things in live that I believe to be universal. Don't be an asshole, don't hit children or animals, and don't be dishonest. I guess everything can kind of fall under "don't be an asshole" but whatever. I especially can't stand when people who I love and care about are dishonest with me, especially after I have expressed how important honesty is to me. I especially, especially, can't stand it when I have been nothing but honest with someone and they turn around and decide that it's okay to be passive-aggressive and manipulative when a friendship is nothing if there is no trust. I just seriously do not understand it.

I don't understand how people can continue to make horribly bad life decisions and then act surprised when their lives fall apart. I don't understand how people can seem so together in one arena, and completely unable to handle their shit in every other one. I am baffled by how people manage to screw up even the simplest of tasks, and how vehemently people will deny the reality that is in front of them and replace it with one they've concocted from God knows where. I also don't understand people who WANT to be lied to. That somehow confuses me even more than BEING lied to. To effectively say, "No, I don't want to know the honest opinion of my friends and family who obviously care very deeply for me and want only the best for me, because I'd rather just pretend that I'm right and there are no alternatives to my opinion or plan," makes absolutely NO sense to me. None.

I also don't understand the weather in April. What the hell?
And I seriously don't understand monotremes.

- A


  1. "Don't be an asshole" is like my religion. That, and Google.

    And I also do not understand why we still fax, or morons who reply-all to anyone they don't know.

    The end.

  2. About the dermatologist being booked up: it's because a lot of vain people go to dermatologists for one pimple. Seriously, one minor discoloration of the skin and all hell breaks loose and that person has to go to the dermatologist. I'm not saying there aren't legitimate medical reasons to go to dermatologists: I go yearly for a skin check because I'm very fair and I have a lot of moles, so I'm at risk for skin cancer. But I honestly think that 80% of the people that go to dermatologists are going for vanity reasons.


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