In Which I Give Advice

Thursday, May 9, 2013

So, yesterday got ridiculous (although I'm not sure how) and this didn't get posted.  I was in a less-than-stellar mood yesterday. It was rainy and gross, which made my commute to Philadelphia just super, and then as I was getting off of the shuttle from my parking lot, the skies opened. Umbrellas are essentially useless in Philadelphia, so that was a joy, but at least I didn't have to walk very far to my building. On top of that, Ken and I had applied for a condo that we saw Tuesday that was practically perfect. It had new hardwood floors, new kitchen appliances, giant closets, and a pantry/laundry room that was awesome. It was in a great area, and was right in our price range. The owner really liked us and said that it was fine that we could move in in July.

Then, after I sent in our application, she wrote back and said that she had had someone come by earlier in the week that could move in in June. Moderately annoying that she told us that moving in in July would be fine, but I suppose that she could have not reviewed the other person's application when we were there. She really seemed like someone who had her shit together (and wasn't a jerk, bonus) so I'm sure it wasn't intentional. I'm just bummed because everything else we've looked at has had some major flaw, and this one really didn't. I guess there's always the possibility that the other applicant could flake out (unlikely) or that the owner could have a change of heart and rent to us because we're just adorable (more unlikely), but hey. I did find another condo in that same complex and asked the realtor to check into that, as well as a few others. I know that we have plenty of time before we have to move (July 22nd), but if we don't have a plan by June 22nd, I am going to have a major meltdown. See, I even made a countdown:

Pamoushk says that melting down is not on my to-do list, and therefore I shouldn't do it, so I am going to try really hard and follow that advice. However, we all know that my first reaction to most things is to have a giant meltdown, so we'll see how well this endeavor goes. I am trying to focus on the idea that there are other great condos out there and that "something better will come along," but I'm just not really that kind of person, so I find myself saying "something better will come along!" and then immediately following that with, "what a load of crap". Anyway, that's the up-to-the-minute on our housing situation. Hopefully something good will turn up soon.

Anyway, I left work a little early because Ken and I had tickets to see "The Last 5 Years" at the Second Stage Theater in NYC. As I mentioned before... I kind of hate New York City... but for $30 tickets to a musical that I have wanted to see for ages, I decided to suck it up. We caught the train into the city (thank God the train wasn't late) and I even survived the subway. Our seats were great, and the show was phenomenal. We didn't get home until just after midnight, and the train was wildly uncomfortable... but it was worth it! I just found out that Betsey Wolfe and Adam Kantor, the actors from this performance, are doing a cast recording that will be released this summer, so you can bet I'll be purchasing that!

This morning, I was completely wiped out, but here I am. For those of you who care, Day 9 of Blog Every Day in May will be up later today. The theme is "A Moment In Your Day" and so I'm taking photos throughout the day for a fun-filled (I hope?) photo post for later. For now, I will get to yesterday's post, which was "A piece of advice you have for others".

This was surprisingly difficult for me, seeing as many of my friends often ask me for advice, and I am all too eager to provide it. Usually, though, the advice is for a specific problem, and I like solving problems. To just hand out advice for no particular problem is harder, I think. Here is what I came up with:

1. Always put a mat in the bottom of your tub, no matter how old you are. I neglected to do this, and I slipped on conditioner, fell out of the tub, fractured my spine, and herniated two discs. Oh, and I got a concussion. Seriously, you're never too old for a anti-slip tub mat.

(1a. Go to the ER if you fall out of your tub and think you have a concussion. It doesn't matter if you and your friends are all med students who can do a rudimentary neuro exam on you and keep you awake. You should be seen by a professional.)

2. Be kind to yourself. Too often, we are our worst critics. I am a fabulous example of exactly how not to treat yourself. I wouldn't let any of my friends be treated the way I treat myself most of the time, and yet... here we are. I have a post-it note in my cubical that says "YOU ARE A GOOD HUMAN BEING" and it reminds me that I should be nice to myself. Interrupting negative self-talk with positivity is so important, and it's so hard to remember to do it! It also feels kind of silly, especially when you don't believe it, but seriously... it helps.

3. You can be afraid and you can do it anyway. I talked about this before, but it's worth repeating.

4. Don't be afraid to cut toxic people/bullshit from your life. This is one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn, but I've discovered that if someone isn't adding anything to my life and all they do is suck energy from me, they're not really worth having in my life. Ditto for bullshit that you've been putting up with for too long for the sake of being a "nice person". It's hard, but it's worth doing to make sure that your life is enriched as possible.

5. Don't be offended when people don't take your advice. I love to give advice, and I get especially irked when people specifically ask me for my advice and then blatantly ignore it, or tell me exactly why my advice or problem-solving tactics won't work. These kinds of people generally don't want your advice, they only want you to agree with them, and in fact, they may be one of those people who I mentioned in #4. Nevertheless, people are entitled to not take your advice (even if it is fabulous), so don't get yourself all riled up if they ignore it. Also, try not to give advice if no one asks for it. That's usually frowned upon.

So that's my advice for the internet today. Check out the link-up for yesterday's post here, and come back later for the photo-journal post of my day!

- A


  1. You forgot "If your friends (who happen to be me...also known as Alison and other friend known as Wifey) tell you at 10am that your stomach pain is your appendix and you should go to the ER immediately you should listen to those friends because they are probably right."

    That's a good one. I should have listened to that one.... I mean to be fair I did.... Just later in the afternoon. :)

    Hope you don't mind that I wrote it like I was you talking, that was the only was the only way I could think to write it.


  2. Haha, probably. I'm just glad you were okay! <3


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