After sleeping for 11, beautiful, uninterrupted hours, I woke up, ate something, laid in bed, and then ended up going back to sleep from 2-4 (whoops). I finally got myself out of bed and went to the local Starbucks to study for the MCAT, where I discovered that yes, I still hate physics. I randomly decided to stop by my mom's later that evening, and we ended up hanging out and going to dinner, which was nice. Then Saturday night, I watched a horrible horror movie on Netflix and then stayed up until 2 am watching Portlandia (also on Netflix). I am not sure why I didn't know Portlandia existed until recently, but holy crap, love it. Sunday, of course, was Mother's Day. I spent most of the day in bed, and then once Ken got home, we headed over to my mom's to go out for dinner. Overall, good times were had by all, and no one wanted to kill anyone else, so that's a successful family outing in my book. By the time we got home, I was too tired to do anything other than crawl into bed and read for a bit before falling asleep.
So, in not particular order, here are the things I miss:
I miss when my body wasn't a complete disaster. - In 2007, my body decided it was tired\of doing the normal things bodies do, and instead decided to wreak havoc on my life. It wasn't until recently that I finally got a diagnosis and some treatment that seems to be working, but I miss feeling healthy and normal. I miss not having to ration my energy, or think about every single thing I eat or drink and how it might affect how I feel. Someday, I hope to get back to something close to that, but for now, I'm living within the confines of chronic illness. Most of the time, these days, I can do most of the things I want/need to do. I still miss not having to think about my health on a daily basis
I miss my Dad. - Fortunately, my dad is still alive and well, but he does live 1200 miles away in southern FL and has since 1990. The only time my dad and I have every lived in the same state since I was 3 was in 2008-2009 when I lived in FL for med school. It broke my heart to leave, but I couldn't heal/recuperate from my breakdown in the place that had helped to cause it. We talk at least 3-4 times a week by phone, and now that he's figured out texting and gchat, it's even easier to keep in touch. Nothing beats face-to-face hanging out though, which is something we only get to do 4-5 times a year or so. I saw him in March for his wedding, and before that, I had seen him in January around my birthday and then in October for my wedding. Anyway, he's one of my favorite people in this entire world, and I wish that we could hang out whenever we wanted.
I miss my Mom-Mom. -My Mom-Mom died in 2004, right after I graduated from high school. She was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer at the end of May, and mid-June, she had moved into hospice where she died (peacefully, thank goodness). She was a wonderful human being, and was so freakishly intelligent that it continually blew my mind. She graduated from Penn with honors with a BS in Chemistry, and then she taught chemistry in inner-city Philadelphia until they started a family. She went back to school later and became a systems analyst and worked for Cigna for awhile. She got me my first library card, my first computer, and helped me set up my first email address. She taught me how to email, how to search for things on the internet, and how to use the Dewey decimal system. She taught me to read music and play the piano when I was 4, and encouraged me to take real lessons when I was old enough. Summers are her house were full of books, board games, trips to the flea market, and catching fire flies in her backyard. It makes me sad that Ken never got to meet her. She was the best, basically.
I miss my long hair. - I'm in the process of growing my hair back out, and I'm sure as soon as it's long again, I'll chop it off... but for now, I continually wish that my hair would grow faster, damn it! I also wish that it would stop falling out/be as thick as it was before. Damn autoimmune disease ruining my hair!
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Before and after... also a different color, haha. The one on the right is my natural color with highlights. Unrelated: I'd love to be that weight again! |
I miss our wedding day. - It seems to cliche, but our wedding day was seriously one of my favorite days of my life. Our marriage and our every day life is absolutely amazing and I love Ken more than anything, but I miss my wedding gown and having all of our favorite people in one place. Also, our wedding is the featured Wordless Wedding today at A Practical Wedding, which is a nice reminder of how fabulous that day was.
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Photo credit: Katie Jane Photography October 14, 2012 |
- A
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