Change the Channel

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

So, I don't have time for a real update right now because I am up to my eyeballs in MCAT studying (3 days! AHHHH!) but I needed to share this conversation that I had with my best friend, Victoria, today. I had mentioned that I was really glad that I was almost finished with this course of prednisone that I have been taking for the recent hand/wrist/elbow arthritis that I've had. Prednisone, if you've never taken it, is a wonderful anti-inflammatory, but it makes you hungry, so I've been feeling like I need to "EAT ALL THE THINGS!" recently. Anyway, that got us onto the topic of eating and dieting in general...

V: I am trying to diet again right now, but I actually gained a half a pound last week. So I decided until after my birthday, all I'm doing is just trying to counterbalance the insanity of eating out so much.

I was down to 136, but prednisone sucks. I'm not trying to do anything until after the honeymoon though, because wine. And also eating out for an entire week, essentially.

I think after my birthday, I'll probably just stop drinking anything for a month. That usually helps. The problem is that on top of the calories from the alcohol itself, I also get major drunk munchies. Or tipsy munchies. Pretty much the second wine hits my lips my body goes "CARBS. NOW. GIVE ME CARBS"

My body is always on that channel. The all carb, all the time, channel. I need to switch to the channel Pam is on. That's the all kale, all the time channel. Girl eats more kale than I think I could eat in my entire life.

V: I need to subscribe to that channel.

A: Me too, but that channel is REALLY boring. It doesn't include things like cheesecake or chocolate.

V: Canceling the carb channel is harder than getting out of a Comcast contract. For about a week, I subscribed to the brussels sprouts channel. I actually could have lasted longer, but my husband reached his limit.

A: I am trying to watch more of the salad channel, but I think something is wrong because it keeps switching back to the Bread and Pasta channel.

V: We have faulty remote controls.

A: We do, can we trade them in?

V: Have you been to the cable store before? I don't want to go there.

A: True. That is a circle of hell that Dante forgot. I think we need parental controls!

V: OMG, that's it! I wish I could just block out carbs from the hours of like, 6pm-8am, lol. Or put a PIN on it, that is set by someone reliable and not easily susceptible to torture... because I will waterboard someone for access to potato chips.

And that, ladies and gents, is why V is one of my best friends.

Back to studying!

- A

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