Wonderful Stuff Wednesday: Email Randomness

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Well folks, it's 2 days before the exam and I haven't walked into traffic yet, so hurrah! Between that and the fact that the weather is gorgeous, today isn't too bad. Yesterday was an absolute clusterfuck, thanks to a torrential thunderstorm that decided to grace us with its presence during rush hour. It took me over 2 hours to get to work (it usually takes 25-30 minutes in the morning) and it was miserable. I ended up taking a detour when I could finally get over to an exit because apparently, 295S was underwater before the bridge. Suboptimal, I'm telling you.

Also suboptimal: When you're taking a practice test and you go to grade it and the entire key is slightly out of order, includes answers to questions that weren't on the exam, and is missing answers to questions that were on the exam. It took me almost an hour to score my test, and it necessitated printing the 37 page answer key and reading all of the answers to figure out which question they went to, since the numbering was all wrong. It should not be more difficult to grade the MCAT than it is to complete it, am I right? (I'm right.)

ANYWAY, that was yesterday and this is today and it's sunny and lovely outside. Of course, I'm in my windowless office, freezing my ass off, but hey, it's 1:30 and in 3 hours I can get out of here. And tonight, there is a bang trim, pizza, and a movie with my friend Lindsey. Until then... studying. WHEE.

So today's Wonderful Stuff Wednesday is brought to you by email. First of all, how cool/weird is it that we can send messages THROUGH THE AIR? I know that this technology is now old news, since I'm pretty sure that soon, we'll be able to beam messages into each other's brains, but it's still kind of amazing, right? That being said, I do miss the lost art of letter writing, so I try to send people cards. Who doesn't like mail? Mail is great (except when it's bills, which it usually is. Sad face, being an adult is lame). 

I will say that most of my day is spent staring at a computer, waiting for various and sundry emails to show up so I can respond to them. I usually check my work email on my Blackberry when I get up in the morning to see if there is anything urgent that needs to be remedied before I've even brushed my teeth. (Side note: I friggin' hate my work Blackberry. I can't figure out how to use it, and I'm blaming the device. Also, the answer to the question is usually no, there is nothing that urgent, but hey.) This morning, I couldn't check it because the battery had died, so when I got to work, I was expecting to be met with at least half a dozen emails. Even if most of them are automatically generated from the IT department, telling that something is broken or something is fixed, there is always something in my email inbox. Today? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I thought that I was stuck in The Twilight Zone or something. But hey, no email to answer first thing in the morning is pretty wonderful!

The second wonderful thing that is email-related today was this goofy scam email that was sent to our string trio account:


How are you doing? please I'm sorry for taking a little of your time, please I have an important issue I will like to share with you concerning my inheritance and character of my wicked Uncles that wants to kill me to enrich themselves. On hearing from you on my email address and i will give you more details.

Have a nice day. Sincerely, alexa oko

I'm not sure why, but it just made me laugh so hard. I feel bad for you, Alexa. I can't imagine what it's like to have wicked Uncles who want to kill you to enrich themselves. They should enroll in some enrichment courses instead. Take up gardening or yoga. Start journaling. These are all very enriching experiences, and they don't include felony homicide! Good luck with all that, though.

Of course, my email-less streak at work could only last for so long. Among the useful emails I received today, I also got an email from the supply chain, which is apparently the department responsible for ordering supplies (aptly named). I'm all for keeping people informed, but this email just cracked me up:

Subject: Supply Conversion Notice: Liquid hand soap conversion to foam hand soap.  Conversion begins at Main campus on August 19, 2013! 
Supply Chain and Environmental Services have an important supply change to report to you.

Kimberly- Clark, makers of the liquid hand soap utilized throughout CHOP Main, has made a business decision to discontinue its line of liquid hand soap. 

Kimberly Clark hand soap will now be replaced with Kimberly Clark foam soap.

The conversion from liquid soap to foam affects CHOP Main Hospital, Wood Center, Seashore House and some Care Network locations (offsite soap utilization assessment in progress). 

The change in soap also creates a change in hand dispensers. Installers for the new dispensers will begin their work on the Main Campus on August 19,2013.

Please continue to use the soap provided.
Be aware of the conversion of liquid to foam soap

So, a few things.

1. To whom is this change actually important!? It's soap!
2. What the actual fuck is a soap utilization assessment?
3. Did they have to tell us to continue to use the soap provided? NO, I refuse!
4. I am pretty sure we're all aware of the conversion to foam soap. I'm also pretty sure that none of us care.

Anyway, those amusing emails made me giggle today, and I hope that they made you smile, too. And now, back to the studying!

- A

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