I Blame Mercury

Thursday, February 13, 2014

I'm prefacing this with the statement that I actually don't buy into astrology. However, some people say that when Mercury is in retrograde, which it current is, that you shouldn't make any serious decisions, travel, sign contracts, and then you should definitely expect nothing but frustrating setbacks and logistical insanity. Thus, when things start to go sideways in my life, I jokingly will say, "Is Mercury in retrograde or something?" It turns out that this time, it actually is and because I need something to blame for the terrible weather, the horrible week I've been having, and the horrible weeks that my friends have been having... I'm going to blame Mercury.

Stressful day at work because people are being stupid? Blame Mercury.

Printer broke? Not your fault, it's Mercury's fault.

RA flare? Blame Mercury (and the goddamn weather).

Oh, and the weather? Mercury.

I know it doesn't actually make sense and that it doesn't change anything, but it makes me feel better to hate on a planet, so... I will. #BlameMercury

Anyway, as you can probably guess, this week has not been stellar. Overnight, we got somewhere between 8 and 12 inches of snow and it was still coming down this morning as I drove to work. Yes, I am actually at work. Yes, it's incredibly stupid. Apparently, everyone at this hospital is considered "essential personnel," but they don't seem to specify whether said essential personnel arrive at work in one piece. At 7:30 this morning, I was less than pleased to bundle up to clear off my car as ice pellets fell out of the sky. Fortunately, my husband is amazing and did all of the shoveling so I could get out of our parking lot. Driving here was a total disaster and basically, I should have taken a luge or a dog sled team instead of my car. The only saving grace was that there were approximately 3 people on the highway, so as I slipped and slid all over the place, I wasn't really in danger of hitting anything. I think my favorite part of the commute was when I paid my toll and the toll worker looked completely shocked to see someone in his lane. Sorry, dude. Essential personnel here. ::eye roll::

Now that I'm here, it appears that I am the only person crazy enough to have made it in here who isn't a nurse or a doctor... and even most of the doctors don't seem to be here. Thanks for making such a point to tell me how important it was to be here, guys.


I was saying yesterday that I seriously needed a SAD lamp to combat the fact that we haven't seen the sun in so long. I googled "SAD lamp" and the first result was this:

Sad lamp is sad.
Thanks, Google. Not quite what I was looking for... but the sentiment holds. I'm only partially kidding about needing a lamp. I've never been diagnosed officially with SAD, but I have regular depression and anxiety, and I can tell you that it definitely is worse in the winter. Everyone I talk to is pretty much losing it over the weather. We just can't take it anymore! Someone, anyone, please send spring. This post on Jezebel pretty much sums it up.

So far today at work, I've done nothing really useful. There isn't a lot going on, seeing as there aren't many people here. I got Comcast to remove a service fee from our account and lower our monthly bill by a $5 (and somehow double our internet speed), guaranteed for a whole year. Every once in awhile (read: whenever our bill goes up, which is often, because Comcast is a huge pain in my ass), I contemplate giving up our cable and just keeping the internet. We already have Netflix discs and streaming, and I would subscribe to Hulu+ and probably get a ChromeCast so I could stream stuff from my laptop or Kindle to the bedroom TV. It would certainly be less expensive... but I would miss The Food Network. And having a DVR. And being able to turn on the TV and watch a Law and Order: SVU marathon whenever I wanted, because seriously, that show is always on. If it came down to it and we needed to trim our budget, then I would give up cable, but it is one of the only mindless things I do when I get home, so I would be sad to see it go.

Although... it would probably cut down on my TV watching in general. I was trying to count the shows I watch on a regular basis and came up with The Blacklist, The Following, Face Off, Criminal Minds, Law and Order: SVU, American Horror Story, The Americans, and Helix. AHS is done for the season, but The Americans is coming back on the 26th. Ken and I also watch Top Chef and we were watching The Walking Dead, but we didn't even start watching the current season and the entire thing is sitting on our DVR. Also thrown in randomly are episodes of Cutthroat Kitchen, Restaurant Impossible, and SNL. That's kind of a lot of TV.  Hm. Whatever, we all have our vices right? One of mine just happens to be television, apparently.

So, in typical "Alison" fashion, things continue to be complicated in the med school/life arena. Once again, I blame Mercury. I am supposed to find out whether I've been accepted to Rowan School of Osteopathic Medicine on February 21st. February 21st also happens to be the absolute last day you can drop a class at Penn and not have a dreaded "W" on your transcript (and perhaps more importantly, get half of your money back!) Because it's considered a "late drop" you have to fill out some special form, and since the class I would theoretically be dropping meets on Thursday nights, I'll have to have it signed by the professor before I know if I'm actually dropping the course. That shouldn't be awkward at all...

Me: Excuse me, professor, can you sign this?
Professor: Are you dropping the course?
Me: Yes. No. Maybe.
Professor: ...?
Me: If I get into medical school tomorrow, you'll never see me again. If I show up next week, you'll know I've been rejected. This is getting depressing, can you please just sign this?
Professor: Well, if you drop the course, maybe we'll have slightly more space in this godforsaken classroom that is the size of a bathroom stall.  ::signs::

*For the best effect, imagine the professor speaking in a super deep, heavily German-accented voice.*

Then, if I do find out that I've been accepted, I have to haul ass up to the Liberal & Professional Studies office before 5 pm to throw the drop form at them. Hopefully, Rowan will call me and give me the good news before 4:30, otherwise, I may be sprinting the 5 blocks to the office, and given our recent weather patterns, it would probably be snowing. For about 3 seconds, I thought they might accept a scanned and emailed copy, but who am I kidding? I'm adorable, thinking that the university would be reasonable.

On top of that, because classes are canceled tonight, we had to reschedule the midterm from 3/6 to 3/20, and 3/20 happens to be the day I will be interviewing at Nova Southeastern University College of Osteopathic Medicine... in Davie, FL. I have already purchased the plane tickets and I will be in The Sunshine State from 3/19 to 3/25... clearly unable to be at the midterm in Philadelphia on March 20th. So now I'm that girl that has to take the midterm some other time, and of course the professor doesn't teach full time at Penn (he has some other, more meaningful job than teaching a bunch of pre-med hopefuls the ins and outs of infectious diseases), so that will complicate things. The best course of action would be that on March 21st, my phone rings at noon, I am accepted to Rowan, I take a long lunch and leisurely stroll up to the LPS office in the sunshine to gleefully drop my class. That would solve all of my problems and I also would be getting $1500 back, which certainly isn't a bad way to celebrate being accepted into med school. I guess we'll see what happens, but I'm taking bets that it won't be that simple. You can guess who I'm going to blame. That's right... Mercury.

So, what are you blaming Mercury for this week? If anything goes wrong between now and February 28th, feel free to blame it on Mercury. All the cool kids are doing it, and come on, Mercury won't even know!

- A


  1. This week I'm blaming Mercury for the waiter delivering my food to me and then getting sick. Don't ask...

    1. That sounds.... terrible. I hope that you're not sick! And yes, that is totally a Mercury-blameable-offense. Duly noted.

  2. I am not sure what I will be blaming Mercury for this week - maybe my husband's wages being late, maybe not hearing back from a possible job interview, maybe . . . actually, I could probably go on . . . oh, dear!

    I hope you have a less 'Mercury' week ahead!

    1. Ugh... that sounds horrible! I think, universally, this week has been crap for so many people. Less Mercury, more chocolate, is what I say!

  3. I will be blaming Mercury for this whole week (that dumb bitch Mercury... I never did like her as a Sailor Scout...that's a lie...I did). Also, I feel like there should be grades of retrograde... like a REALLY terrible week/time is Retrograde A and then like stubbing your toe repeatedly on a daily basis is Retrograde F. I think this is a thing that we could start.... yep. I do.

    Anyway, I lof you always! Kbye!!

  4. P.S.
    I love sad lamp... I love sad lamp....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gId6nrMDmUU

    1. Levels of Retrograde sounds like a good plan. Let's make ie happen, haha. LOF.


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