I Will Live My Life as a Lobsterman's Wife

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Hello! It's Thursday, which is almost Friday, which wouldn't normally be excited but tomorrow is exam day, which means that the weekend is a real weekend because I won't be studying. It also means that I need to be studying right now instead of blogging, but I had to get a post in for #Blogtober14. Today's prompt? What was your dream job growing up and what is it now?

Helene in Between Blogtober

Contrary to the subject line, I don't want to live my life as a lobsterman's wife, it's just a line from an Ingrid Michaelson song. In fact, that sounds miserable, mainly because I'm allergic to shellfish and would have to live somewhere like Maine, where it's freezing and snows 23 feet a day in the winter. No thank you. Also, I don't like the smell of the bay. Let's skip the lobstering all together.

When I was 9, I proudly declared that I wanted to be a pediatrician.

Now, I'm... in medical school so I can be a pediatrician.

Well, that's not very exciting, now is it?

Since my dream job apparently has been the same for the last 20 years, I decided to talk about the things I would do if money was no object/if I could create a job out of thin air that doesn't actually exist.

Things I'd Be Good At But Don't Exist As Real Jobs:

1. Professional Googler
Yikes, that sounds dirty. I swear, it's not something that would get me arrested, I'm just really good at Googling things. In fact, I'm so good at Googling things that I am entirely baffled by people who ask questions to which the best answer is, "Let me Google that for you." Now that we all carry computers in our pockets and have access to the internet at all times (except when you're in the middle of Chapel Hill, NC, as I found out in August), whenever I have a question, I whip out my phone and ask Google for the answer. Want to know whether Macedonia is still a country? Ask Google. Want to know who that guy is in the TV show you're watching and what else you know him from? Google knows the answer. Want to know the air speed velocity of a swallow? Google will tell you, and you don't even have to specify whether it's African or European. Basically, I am a world champion Googler and someone should pay me buckets of money for my skills.

2. Knitter and Coffee Drinker
I would be decidedly better at the former part of this job. In fact, I wouldn't say I'm a particularly fabulous knitter, I just really enjoy it. Maybe if I had time to knit whenever I wanted, I'd be better, though. If someone could pay me to sit in a Starbucks and drink froofy espresso drinks while knitting with luxurious yarn, that'd be great. If you have a need for this kind of professional, you know who to call.

3. Kitten Snuggler
I do this now, but no one pays me. I have extensive experience in snuggling cats and kittens of all breeds and ages. Cats love me. I love cats. It's simple, really.

There are also things I'd be really bad at doing, so I guess I wish that I could be good at them and then do them for a job:

1. Jazz Musician
Yeah, I am a pretty decent musician, but I always sucked at playing jazz piano because I am too inhibited to improv because I'm afraid I'll screw up. One could argue that there is no screwing up in improv, but.. there is. Also, I think that I'd get tired of performing all the time and it wouldn't be fun anymore. I loved singing jazz in college, so maybe I can just team up with a pianist who can do the hard work for me.

2. Artistic... Something
I'm decently creative, but I am not artistic at all. I wish desperately that I could hand letter or draw or paint, but I cannot. My stick figures look like they're dying. I can't design layouts and I have no eye for style. But I love and appreciate that kind of talent, so that'd be awesome if I could do that.

3. Professional Photographer
I love photographs. I have almost 1000 random pictures on my phone (mostly of my cats...) and I am slowly learning to use my DSLR. I'd love to be really great at photography, but that whole "lack of artistic vision" thing really screws that up.

And then there's the thing that everyone tells me that I should be, which I find hysterical. A life coach. Apparently, I'm really good at giving other people advice and solving other people's problems, while meanwhile, my own life is in shambles (or dangerously close to being in shambles). That being said, if you ever need advice, let me know. I apparently know how to solve problems.

And for good measure, one job I'd never want? Olivia Pope's. Yikes.

What about you? What was your dream job as a kid? What is it now? Are you doing it? Tell me your story and link it up! I'll be back tomorrow with yet another post, assuming I can pour my melted brain back into my skull after my exam.

Back to the books for me...

- A



  1. Kitten Snuggler? Sign me up!

    Hey, at least you're consistent with your dream jobs! :)

  2. I'd be a really good professional internet stalker, but it's just so creepy.

  3. Aw, I'm thinking you're better at the photography thing than you give yourself credit for. We'll play on Saturday. Also, this is a great idea for a post - jobs I'd be great at if they existed. I'm going to think about this all day now though. Also, yay for you for accomplishing your dream.


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